Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
