I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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