Welp...herpes.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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