i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
