Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
