I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
