you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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