He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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