wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
