I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
