You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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