mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
