the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
