i permit you to call me
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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