how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
