Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
