yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
