yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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