Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
