You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
