don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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