My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
