Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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