Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you win again, gameday.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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