Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
