So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
ttyl tear gas
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
