great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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