I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
