Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize