My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Let's paint friendship bongs
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
