how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize