she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
