The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
