i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
