You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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