you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
