my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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