I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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