Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
