I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
