I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
