bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
