i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
pop tarts are not kleenex
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
