Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Bring me that man meat
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
