he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
