i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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