Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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