i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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