Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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