I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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