McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
