So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
