Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize