how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
