3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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