There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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