yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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