just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
