it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
