check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
