I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She announced her abortion via fbk
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
